Ages of Human History

Here's a silly piece I wrote last night:

Ages of Man

Stone Age

Bronze Age

Iron Age

Silicon Age

Hunter-Gatherer Age

Agriculture Age

Industrial Age

Electromagnetic Age

Space Age

Information Age

Oral History

Cuneiform Age—clay tablets baked in the sun

Hieroglyphics Age—chiseled into hard stone

Papyrus Age—scrolls from reeds or animal skins

Paper Age—then the printing press

Digital Age—electronic storage and the cloud

Sunlight Age

Fire Age:

Dung Age

Wood Age/Peat Age

Charcoal Age

Oven Age

Whale Oil Age

Petroleum Age

Atomic Age

Biofuel Age

Renewable Energy Age

Empires:

Mesopatamia

Egypt

Assyria

Babylon

Persia

Greece

Rome

Byzantia

Caliphate

Mongolia

Ottoman

Spanish

French
British

(over)

The Chinese would like to tell you to go to hell.

The Russians would like to remind you that they built their empire during the last four and it still exists.

Africans would like to tell you that they had empires too and to stop disrespecting them because their ancestors left no written records.

The Mayans are laughing hysterically because although their empire disappeared, people still agonize over their calendars.

Montezuma still has his revenge and the Aztecs are not forgotten. Sorry, Spain.

This took a weird turn.

Weaponry:

Rock Age (gloriously relived in my youth)

Slingshot Age

Blade Age (Sword, spear, and knife)

Shield Age

Armor Age

Arrow Age (Bow, Crossbow, and Longbow)

Gunpowder Age (Cannon, musket, rifle)

Atomic Age

Laser Age

Mathematics:

Mesopotamia/Egypt—Counting Age

Greece—Geometry Age

India—Zero Age

Arabia (caliphate)—Algebra Age

Europe—Calculus Age